Friday, July 25, 2008

Are you really optimistic?


You know those age old expressions, Glass half empty, Glass half full, and Which one of the two are you?, etc., etc.?

Glass half empty means you are a pessimist and glass half full means you are an optimist, right? I just don't see why this is.

I believe that if you were a true optimist and you saw a glass half occupied with whatever, you wouldn't see it as half full, but really only half empty. Saying something is half empty is hardly pessimistic at all; how can you say it any other way? It's actually just realistic.

I think these were expressions made up to ineffectively prove points and confuse people for eternity.

All of a sudden, I'm kind of confused...



Ok, ok, at the end of the day, really, both expressions mean exactly the same thing. Quibbling not needed!

Mmmwhy did I write this post?

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Oh no oh no oh no!

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, please read this.

--

In other news, I read an article recently about cyclists, and rules of the road. The article stated that the same rules apply to cyclists that apply to drivers.

Listen here: Yesterday, as I exited the front door of the College streetc, a cyclist WHIZZED by me, acting almost as if I was inconveniencing her by having just stepped off the car. Excuse me, cyclie! Just because your light was GREEN, did you suddenly, all of a sudden forget that there was a stop sign before you, as you bulldozed your way through the intersection? Where do you get off acting like there isn't a single rule of the road that applies to you!?

Honestly, I know it's a tough world out there for cyclists - they can't get no respect, yadda yadda. BUT, if you want to get the most bang for your cyclist buck, and be respected among fellow people of the road, please do your homework on what rules of the road apply to you, AS someone who operates a wheeled mode of transportation.

It isn't some two-wheelin' free-for-all out there!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Assuage

To be added to my list of faves...

"Cut it out!" - Joey Gladstone

OMG, Going Nowhere by Cut Copy is the cat's me-ow. Officially. Check 'er out.

The whole album too.

Now.

P.S. The concert is Sept. 19. I will be there.

P.P.S. The video.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Juice Weasels and the like

Today I was inspired to write a post on something I love: infomercials. Maybe some of you will find this hard to believe (well, knowing me you won't), but I mean, in general.

I love infomercials so much, to me they are the equivalent of sitting down in front of a great flick that's been on my 'To See' list for ages.

Can I tell you that I have seen the infomercial for the Magic Bullet at least 55 times? Back in the day when I lived at home, and now even, there was nothing I enjoyed more on a Sunday afternoon than plunking myself down on the old sofe to really take in an excellent infomerch.

And I don't tune in for just a few minutes either. Since the whole thing is basically a commercial in and of itself - therefore not requiring any extracurricular commercial breaks - I am literally glued to the thing for the entire hour that it airs. With regular TV I am constantly getting up and down, not being able to decide if the show I'm watching is really worth my time. But infomercials, I'm telling you, they have it all figured out.

---

In the spirit of infos, here is a fave old In Living Colour sketch of mine.

Monday, July 21, 2008

The final streetcar

This morning on the streetc there was a person - whom I could not identify through the throngs - who was blasting a heinously cheesy house, slash, intelligent techno, slash, hip hop (?) version of The Final Countdown by Europe on their 'Pod.

Heinously cheesy already, you might say? To each their own...

Friday, July 18, 2008

Clean or dirty?

This has been bothering me for a while now. And I don't know who it is that ever invented this __ thing.

I'm sorry, but if you need a Clean-Dirty magnet, or suction cup sign, or velcro sign for your dishwasher to tell you if it's... clean or dirty... then I'm not sure that this sign alone is really going to help you. It's not like the sign actually tells you the contents of the appli
ance are clean or dirty - a human person has to do that. You yourself have to make sure the sign is switched to the appropriate "Clean" or "Dirty" to indicate what exactly is going on inside the dishwasher.

I just don't like these signs. I don't own a dishwasher, but if I did, I would never want one of these signs in or around my dishwasher. They are essentially more trouble than they're worth.

But my god, when I Googled "dishwasher clean dirty signs" there were 413,000 results. To me, that is a problem. Try it yourself...




(clap, clap, clapclapclap, clapclapclap, clap) DOG SHOW!

This morning I was watching this terrible morning show on channel 23--let's just say it's some embarrassing Regis and Kelly knock-off--and they were featuring a segment on puppies up for adoption. They had these sickly sweet little blurbs on all the dogs, most of which were absolutely hilarious, but not intentionally (you know the type). I was also doing the dishes at the same time and chimed in when they were talking about a little lap dog named Rudy:

"Rudy, a southern gentleman, is as sweet as peach pie."

Oh my word, this was just too much for me...

---

In other news, lately my roommate and best friend have both mentioned a word or two about the band Cut Copy. So I took a listen... I'm into these people! My bff was right when he said that they are kinda like a mix between New Order and Daft Punk. SOLD! I think I will go to their upcoming concert. I have also been informed they are opening for NIN in the near future. Check. it. owt!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

GET NAKED July 22

My aunt gave me a pin for my birthday that said that.

Forgot one!

agog

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

We got $5,000...

Look! It's been accepted into the world of funny, friends and fellow funniez:

Spookey Ruben's Dizzy Playground - Omen of the Goblet

Enjoy!!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The Pool

They recently adorned it with some streamer-type things over top of the pool. You know the kind they put up when kids have races or something?

I can't believe my eyes, the water is miraculously crystal clear and I even saw people swimming in it yesterday. I mean, I think they were people, but...!?

Monday, July 14, 2008

Let me talk about the time when I first moved here...

I was waiting for the subway. I noticed a woman, talking to a wall:

"I'm gonna stick a penknife in your eye."

Oh god, I thought. What have I gotten myself into? Then she continued:

"You and your music, and your headphones and your gramophones."


What on earth!?, I thought. Two seconds later:

"Are you in the mood? Are you on the M-O-O-D?"

Later that day, after exiting the subway I saw a man pushing a baby stroller. I was eager to see what the baby looked like. After peering into the stroller, I found it was jam-packed with dozens of loaves of Wonderbread.


About a week later I saw another man pushing a baby stroller. This one contained a small dog, wearing a striped T-shirt, with a blanket wrapped around its legs. It was sitting in an upright position, not unlike a human baby. It looked absolutely pleased as punch.


What does that expression mean?


Friday, July 11, 2008

Words aplenty

I'm just another one of those people who keeps a list of words they love...

Here are some that I've remembered for today:
  • atop
  • aloud
  • aplenty

Brutally free ride


Right now at the company where I work, they are working on a project for Chrysler Free Ride. So, not surprisingly, the corresponding song for the commercial is Free Ride by The Edgar Winter Group. You know, it's one of those songs that's probably been in several hundred beer commercials and makes you think of such things as people partying at a sun drenched beach in the early 80s, or off the back of a random truck, cracking open some brewskis, getting sunburns and then complaining about them, as well as cut-off jean shorts; things of this nature. So, at this moment, not only is this song on brutal repeat in my BRAIN, but I also hear it waft frequently out of one of the offices, people walk around the office humming or flat out singing it, I have to look at the folder that houses the documents pertaining to the project... It's driving me up the wall!

"Come and take a free right--FREE RIDE! Come on and take a Free. Ride." and it has that catchy guitar only part, where the images of what I wrote above invade your brain.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Things overheard at work

At last job:
-"Lumberjacks are actually really smart!"
-"I didn't say they weren't!!"

At current job:
-"Fax machine is the photocopier?"
-"Welcome to the 21st century."

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Has: My Bro!

Hasbro. Now here's a company that runs a tight ship.

This weekend, while enjoying myself in the wilds of cottage country, a couple of friends and I decided to indulge in a li'l Travel Scrabble. After playing two rounds of one of my fave games, the Welshman informed me that I was missing my X. I couldn't believe my ears or eyes. A letter, missing from my game? This was very concerning.

Fast forward to yesterday: I shoot Hasbro an e-mail, telling them of my plight. 'One missing letter, dude, I don't need a whole set of new letters though!' They (well, Veronica) replied quick as a wink:

Hi Kathryn,

Thank you for contacting Hasbro, Inc. regarding your Travel Scrabble game.

Your satisfaction is very important to us. We will be happy to ship the replacement letter tile 'X' at no charge to you.

Shipping will be done as quickly as possible.

We appreciate having the opportunity to assist you. We hope you will enjoy our products for many years to come.

Many years to come, indeed!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

To Diet Pepsi or not to Diet Pepsi?

I know it's the age old preference: Coke over Pepsi. Always (for most people). But today, I decided to make it a Pepsi day (even though I rarely drink fizzy). And my, did I make the right choice.

Diet Pepsi tastes sweeter to me than Diet Coke, and that's just what I felt like on a day like today, when the office candy seems to be flying off the shelves like hot cakes. Literally. I was standing around with some coworkers, chatting about candy of all shapes and sizes (this office stocks a bunch let me tell you!) and everyone was talking about how much candy they'd already eaten today. I said, it must be the weather.

Always the perfect excuse for me.

Monday, July 7, 2008

CL

In case you didn't know, or haven't heard, Craigslist (CL) is the most amazing thing around. I love it so much. I love the Rants and Raves, for the times when someone feels the urge to proclaim their love of fresh baked raisin bread (which actually happened). And I love the Missed Connections, for the funny and sweet things people write about people they stalk on the streets of TO.

Today I stumbled upon a new section that a friend turned me on to. The Best of Craigslist section, at the left of the screen. You must try this post on for size. And don't stop there. Drink up the all the delights CL has to offer, my friends!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Summing it

This weekend I had the opportunity to revel in the marvel of the Minden wilderness. Sun, fun, children, beer, fire (of the camp persuasion) all added up to make the perfect weekend spent outside of TdotOdot. Not much beats sleeping all bundled up in your 'bag, enjoying the frosty night air and then plunging unconsciously into the world of dreams that await you (this is what happens to me when I sleep in a foreign place for a night or two).

Reminds me of the time I was sleeping in a foreign bed for two nights when I was away once in Montréal. In the dream I looked up in the sky and saw thousands of tiny cars flying around with wings. Then all of a sudden I spotted a huge, feathery bird, almost Jim Henson-esque, that swooped down to earth, wrapped its giant wings around me and slowly whispered in my ear, "You are beautiful."

See what I'm saying about these dreams?