Wah Stride

Nah, you know what I wasn't very impressed with what Stride (Cadbury) offered me for my unfortunate 13-pc gum experience. They sent me two $1.00 off coupons. Pretty stingy if you ask me. I should follow up and ask for more compensation with a small note that just says, "Not enough to get me to buy Stride again. What else ya got."
In other news, I just sent out yet another complaint - this time to Anchor Hocking. I'm not normally in the practice of putting plastic in the microwave but I recently put a glass container with its corresponding plastic lid in the microwave, as merely a splatter guard - not tightly sealed on or nothin - as the container said it was mircrowave safe, but after removing it from the mike after only about 45 seconds on a very normal setting for reheating leftovers, the lid was completely warped and would not even fit on the container anymore. What B.S.
That's like the time I bought a wool sweater from Smart Set that I LOOOOVED and it said it was machine washable. Why did I listen? When I pulled it from the washer it was the size of a Cabbage Patch preemie sweater. Sad.

Honestly Edward's

I must give my pal KZ credit for the title of this blog posting.
Everyone, Honest Ed's has the best price goin' on Sunflower Kitchen hummus! I could barely believe my eyes on a lunchtime trip there to get some shoelaces for Bron (as an aside: shoelaces are very hard to come by in this city) when I saw the $2.97 price tag! Hello! Honestly Edward's saves the day! Every other retailer has their hummus for at least $3.99. Insanity. Don't stop it!
I also noticed they have Sunflower Kitchen soups as well. Can't wait to try those.

Starboned

Bron and I always call Starbucks Starbones. Don't steal my thing.
On a related note, I was just in Starbucks picking up an afternoon Americano. Just to the side of the counter I noticed a girl writing something with a Sharpie on a coffee cup sleeve. Seconds later she handed it to the male cashier with a "You can call me anytime." Score! The guy next up at the counter said, "I wish I had your job."
Reminds me of the time I asked out a bouncer at a pub in Waterloo yeeears ago. I gave him my number on a shred of paper and said, "Call me." After I walked away a spell he called out, "I probably won't call you - I have a girlfriend!"
Probably won't? I like those odds.

Christmas

Everyone, I have really cleaned up this time. Stride is going to be sending me a coupon, as reimbursement for my only-13-out-of-a-possible-14-piece-of-gum package of Stride gum - by FIRST CLASS MAIL. Christmas has come early.

Thank you for contacting us. We will be in touch with you very soon.

Juuuust submitted my comment to Stride. EYE almost can't believe that they left one whole piece out of my $2.20 package of gum. They got a piece of my mind's gum though. Stay tuned for their response!

Twist and Curr

Oh my gaa. Sunday night had the pleasure of dining with Bron and Sue at this place. Hello, Curry Twist and Shout! Amaaaazing restaurant. And all we did was google Indian restaurants Toronto. Thank you google. They had this incredible flounder special - my gaa, the SAUCE! I loooove this place. Definitely now in my top restos. They also serve all dishes in those sweet little copper pots. How they make a meal! Their pilaf is pretty darn good too.
Overall, a very cozy, very colourful little corner of the Junction. Check it out today. 3034 Dundas St. W.

In handwriting

I just experienced the following phone conversation at work:

Me: Good afternoon, CIC.
Him: Where have I called?
Me: The CIC.
Him: Ok, take my name down.
Me: Ok. What for?
Him: J-o-h-n, in handwriting, H-e-n-n-e-s-s-y. (hangs up)

Riiiiight.

Take it in Stride

The other night, in a hurry to get to a mojito party, I snatched from the corner store (and by snatched I mean purchased; who do you think I am?) a package of Stride gum, of the spearmint persuasion. I no sooner removed the plastic wrap from the envelope of gum, and flipped back the flap to find only 13 of a purported 14 slices of chewy satisfaction within. Shame shame Stride. You'll be hearing from Yours Truly. And soon...!

Fish tacos!

So Bron and I are in love with this recipe. I mean I think you'd have to be a bloody fool not to love fish tacos. If you like ocean fresh meals from the sea, or Mexican food, this dish is for you! I especially just love Epicurious.com in general. Not much tops this site for me. Except my daily dose of thestar.com (nerd alert)

My new digs!

Annapolis
And can you believe this lady is our coach!?? I can't!!!!!
Let the games begin! First show, THIS TUESDAY, Sept 7, Comedy Bar - 945 Bloor St. W.

Rocky update

So this morning, I hit the balcony - every time I think to head out there now, I can't but help think that I'll find him (Rocky) sleeping in the corner. Well, no sign (in every sense of that word) of him this morning , but then I noticed something completely weird and ugly on the railing. God it was gross. Of course, completely slimy - though I didn't dare touch it - little pieces of which were scattered all along the railing, with weird tiny bugs feasting on whatever it was. Upon closer inspection it appeared to be a rotten green pepper. I do not want to know what the orange slime was on it. Come on you raccoons - what's the DEAL. Go be disgusting somewhere else. Preferably at ground level. Preferably underground.
That varmint better not show his face 'round these parts anymore.

Monday afternoon smells

Was out the back balcony sunbathing and noticed a weird zooey, slash, local park kind of smell. Kind of like hot urine. Then I thought, better check behind that tarp where Brons bike is stored (I seem to have a history of smelling weird things and just knowing what to lift or move in order to locate the offense). Cut to lifting the tarp: theres a raccoon sleeping underneath. I lifted up the tarp a few times subsequent and we made eye contact. Once when I lifted the tarp, I caught him mid-yawn! Oh my god cutest thing of the day. But also stenchiest. And strange and very jarring.

Q and A

Conversation with me and Auntie

Auntie: I keep thinking about this so I have to ask. In your last e-mail you talked about __ and __ and you said that they smell like old people. How do old people smell?

Me: Hahah you keep thinking about it - either they smell like old weird musky cologne/perfume or they smell like medical supplies and medications and stuff. I think people who are on medication probably start to have it seeping out of their pores or something. Next time you are around someone old, take note. Or sometimes they also smell like bad breath or unwashed clothes. You get the point.

Do you live or work in Toronto?

says a random woman to me on the corner today at lunch. Why yes I do. She then says she's there on that corner today offering me spa services on behalf of a spa on the Danforth (we were at Spadina and Bloor, people) at 90% off. I fell silent. She said, you are the most unenthusiastic person I've talked to so far. I said I'm not a spa person. She then proceeded, however, to explain to me all the services they offer and would I want to give it as a gift - I could get $300 worth of crap for $47 - and the people I was gifting wouldn't know the difference. I just think that's mean. I don't like to trick-gift people. Who did she think I was!? She told me facials are her 'most favourite thing.' Am I just spa-mean?
When she asked me one final time if I had anyone in mind to spa-gift I said no, and walked away.
She was really being obtrusive.

My week

Monday: Stand-up (killed it, yessss!)
Tuesday: Rowing (got left with the heavy end of the boat, shoulder: ouch!)
Wednesday: Improv show (wicked bud) also my Birthday (shya buddy!)
Thursday: Rowing (can't wait!)
Friday: Business meeting and then chillering
Sat & Sun: Waterloo for birthday madness and lounging poolside

It's been tewwww long!

But it's been good ladies and gentleman. Yes, there is only one of you.

Improv team has been going great. Loving After Geography and all of our antics (Yes, I'm famous). Impatient Theatre Co. is such a great little place. Check 'em out if you've ever wanted to indulge your improv fantasies! Centrally located too (well, on the west end) at Queen and Roncesvalles!
Performing every week at Comedy Bar is a real rush and a pleasure, and you can drink beer while performing if you really want. Lucky huh? Dream day job ;-)

Otherwise, the house is working out amazingly. We just had a housewarming this weekend and boy was it warm (cheese but reality).

Hope to see you all soon - most of all because we have a ton of food, wine, beer and lots of other party stuff left over from Sat night. Please invite yourself over!!

The state of my life

Bron was just trying to help me adjust the display in my web browser and he clearly didn't know what he was doing so I said, "If you don't know, then nevermind." Yessss.

Sooo, lots to report! I can't go to Texas anymore when scheduled due to them needing me at work (yea, I know hey?) which instead means that I can try out for MAVERICK idol, after all. Pretty darn stellar if you ask me. Now I just have to remember where I put my magician's cap so that I may pull something equally stellar out of it, and we're - well I'm - in business. It'll be extra cool as I had the opportunity to meet the president, Julie Rusciolelli, at a CPRS student event a couple years ago. She was actually the one who inspired me to start my blog, which I exclaimed in my first post, oh so many years ago now. Well, maybe two. So, thank you for that Julie!

Also, last night I had my ITC Sketch 201 class show at Comedy Bar. Friggin love that place :-) I think I shall also audition for the ITC Student Teams. Hope they pick me :-) This is certainly going to be a month of being pickled by people - I mean picked, picked! AND, to really top it all off, my ITC Sketch Writing 101 class starts on Sunday. How STOKED am I? Sheesh. And even 201 pals Irene and Candace will be in the posse. Psych! I mean, for realsies they will be.

Again!

So remember how ages ago I wrote about how things were going missing from our 'common room' (yes, my office is located in a dorm, get over it)? Well, since that time we've had locks installed. Hallelujah! But, that really doesn't seem to have stopped the students moving out at end of term. Would you believe that the other day we had like beyond an entire set of dishes, along with a whack of mugs, and a TEAPOT go missing!? What student wants a teapot anyway? I bet they just took the stuff and smashed it all somewhere. Isn't that what students do? I still remember my old roommate Kyle's Smashy-Smashy Room in his Ezra St. house in Waterloo.

Photoshoot!

So Bron and I went to see this dude a couple weekends ago. Frigging amazing stuff. He owns A Museum Of My Own (AMOMA) on Sorauren, north of Queen. Totally excellent studio. He just had an exhibit open last Friday, which we were unable to attend due to Sir Greg's birthday party at the Drake. Eric certainly does amazing shazz though. Definitely check him out if you're in Roncesvalles - or even if you're not! The photo shoot we had with him was so much fun. Bron brought along his ukulele for propage, and we utilized the leather chairs on site. Eric was impressed by our repertoire of poses. I'm gonna grab a CD of our photos from him tomorrow. He was offering an introductory offer of a free 8"x10" so I can't wait to pick our favourite ones!

lmgtfy

I think this is so mean: http://lmgtfy.com/

Let me google that for you: For all those people that find it more convenient to bother you with their question rather than google it for themselves.

My friend Nick just used it on me. Sad.

Long of breath and short of ear

This morning, arrived in the office to find a giant cinnamon coffee cake topped (not 'topped' but with on top) with Eggies and reeeeaal milk chocolate eggs with a giant THANK YOU note with a fake flower on it. Who was it from? Our cleaning lady. Thanking us? What, for being low maint? I'll take it either way :-)

Now I'm bingeing as my work for the rest of the day. Heh, heh, heh.

Ten minutes ago picked up a new computer for our new employee from a nearby office building. While I was waiting outside with the Dell boxes, a rather eccentric, quasi-homeless woman walked by and said, "Looks like you're having a Dell of a good time." It doesn't get much better than this folks. Reminds me of the time my Hungarian high school art teacher used the phrase 'whale of a good time' totally out of context when she asked us, "How many whales of a good time are we having now?"

Elle est fameux!

Go Desia, Go Desia: http://www.shedoesthecity.com/career

In other news, this morning when I was on the King car (am having to get used to a new 'crowd' taking this streetcar to work. I'm still not there yet), there was a dood standing next to me - in the seated position - who was totally chewin away on a piece of gum and smacking it and macking it and all the rest of it. I shot him an evil glance, as did two other girls sitting in front of me. He even did one of those blow a bubble in your mouth and then tongue pop it things. So sick. It's 8:15am buckaroo, do you really have to do this RIGHT NOW, in the confines of this tiny ancient streetcar? Please, just transport yourself to work, while keeping to yourself in an orderly fashion, which does not involve communicating sounds via the mouth hole.

My kind of family

Yes, Albertan family! My boyfriend's sis and bro-in-law told me early in 2010 they were going to try to go the whole year without using any plastic throwaway containers. Have they been successful? I haven't yet checked in.

Heck, I want to radio interview this family, and I don't even have any radio skillz, OR a show. Now that's inspiration. Those little boys have some cool parents. Environmental kudos to you!

"Fact: According to the United Nations Environment Programme, 90,000 ships worldwide transport 90 per cent of the world’s goods, and shipping emissions will increase by more than 70 per cent by 2020." -"Could your family last one year without anything new?", Toronto Star, 23 Mar 2010.

Not yet jet

So I haven't yet provided those juicy updates as I said I would. But I still will. They'll just be completely out of date and perhaps not relevant. But, still funny slash juicy.

Something great from this morning: I was walking out the doors at the west Spadina subway entrance and saw a guy try to push open a door that wouldn't budge, when he at once exclaimed, "Seriously?" A-he was talking to the door.

I should have been like, Who are you talking to?

Hilarity ensues

Oh my god oh my god I have the juiciest of updates for y'all shortly. So many lightning bolts/things have happened this morning alone! Aie!! And, I have a birthday dinner and trip to Waterloo fast approaching ce weekend. Word.

Let me start off with this gem: Came across a guy's e-mail address at work: thewayner@blank.com

KILLER

I've loaded my gun with blood

I'm in love with this song just lately. What a tremendous band, especially with which to serenade the ears whiling away the hours at my daytime occupation.

So, the big move is fast approaching. Bron is moving upstairs. I'm moving several blocks and a bit south. We're both kind of feeling like, why pack? But I know I'm going to regret not jamming things into boxes and bags as the day fast approaches. We've been delayed two or three times now. Can we please move in before I'm kicked outta my current place? Kthanksbye. The other day walking up to the house, found a large freshly poisoned (we think) rat on the driveway. I pray to the lord it didn't come from inside the house. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease. The mouse that decided to die under the sofa at 666 was bad enough. Thought the neighbours were keeping garbage on their balcony again for the second year in a row, but after seeing not a trace of garbage - not even a loaf of bread or carton of juice atop the mound, MP - Nick's apartment (read: rat's nest; dead rats in the walls, under the sink, making stains on his belongings) flashed back through my mind and I moved the very sofa I had been relaxing on to find the tiniest of mouse, lying dead, the new home of all shapes and sizes of larvae and probably baby roaches, etc.

Here's to turning over a dead mouse, I mean new leaf.

Komm gibt mir deine Hand

On my way home tonight I walked by this place that sells eyeglasses, can't think of what those places are called right now - not at work, brain is mush - and they had this terrible typewritten though unprofessional sign in the window. Currently along Roncesvalles, there is major construction happening, which has been the case for like a year probably. So, some of the businesses are suffering as a result, but most are still getting walk-in traffic, naturally. So they had this sign up that said something like "Top ten reasons we like the constractions along Roncesvalles." I don't remember exactly what it said, but it DEFINITELY had the (non-)word constractions in it. I will have to take a picture of it or something. And again, can't remember everything the list said, but a few were as follows:

1) "We don't have to dress up to go to work (fitness close [sic] is fine)" This one bothers me on a few levels. Just because there is constractions, why is this a reason to dress down? And fitness clothes? Why fitness? What would possess the staff to choose fitness inspired fashions? And lastly, CLOSE, i.e. CLOTHES??!? Shut right up.

2) Ah shit that's all I can remember. Definitely taking a picture/bringing a notebook for my way by tomorrow.

They're brown so it's ok

Our kitchen at work is always well stocked with brown paper towels. You know the kind, they're always folded neatly in a rectangular manner and in elementary school they used them to distribute the pizza on Pizza Day and they were what you dried your hands with in the washroom. My colleague informed me the other day that he uses a LOT of these. His rationale: they're brown, so it's ok.

Emotional eating

Last weekend Bron and I were indulging in some breakfast in the morning hours. Or, it was probably early afternoon. After two heaping bowls of Mini-Wheats and four or maybe even five pieces of cinnamon toast:

Me: Are you emotional eating?
Bron: No. Maybe.

Brutal. Anyway, so yesterday I was engaging in a bit of emotional eating myself. It was an upsettlingly boring day at the office, so on my lunch I went to my local 7-11 and bought 20 of those 5-cent gummie candies and three caramels. I probably should have only bought about 5 of those gummies. After about 15 of them, my stomach just shut down and wouldn't let me eat anymore. Wah wahhh. I was able to plow through all the caramels though. I'm seriously probably going to have about eight cavities after yesterday's escapades. I'm sorry my precious teeth.

Cheesiest thing EVAR

I was walking with my yoga mat to yoga the other night and an old man walked by me and said, “You on a roll?” Wow, old people love to lay on the cheeeze.

Camp

Growing up, I used to go to camp in Port Sydney, ON (think Huntsville), throughout the span of about eight years. Friggin loved it. Didn't want to stop going. But also didn't really want to become a counselor.

Every time it was someone's birthday at camp, everyone in the dining hall (imagine 300 or so kids and a bunch of counselors) would sing Happy Birthday and directly afterwards sing the camp birthday song, that went like so,
"Skip around the dining hall,
skip around the dining hall,
skip around the dining hall, skip, skip, skip."
(not at all kidding) Then the poor birthday boy or girl would have to, you guessed it, skip around the dining hall, while everyone was singing this song.

I used to thank the lord it was never my birthday when I went to camp. I was horrified by this simple act of birthday fun.

Praying for your digits

Today at lunch I saw one of those dumb WWF people or whatever outside some shops on Bloor trying to get me to give them money. Of course they didn’t even dare speak to me what with the Suzie Ontario scowl on my face, etc. but I did happen to see a prescription bag on the ground from Shoppers. When I first saw it I thought maybe it still had something inside – looked “full” – but upon further inspection was just an empty bag. An EMPTY bag, with someone’s full contact and prescription details printed on the front. Man litterbugs are stupid. You know what I shoulda done? Picked that bag right up, called him with the convenient information I was provided and told him, Thanks for littering Johnny Toronto. Didn’t hide it very well with your full RX details lying right in front of my face on BLOOR ST!!!!

Those WWF people should have taken that opportunity to call him up with the same found details and pester him for money.

Two seconds later I walked into Cobs Bread to get a lovely dose of Cape Seed and noted the excellent musical selection of Praying for Time by George Michael blanketing the bakery in a sea of 80s-ness.

This ain't the '60s

This same thing happened to be personally – driver went in to get coffee, left a whole morning bus full of people waiting. Love what the driver in this article says though.

In other news, remember Duckies? No, not these. My god. My cousins used to have a pair in every colour, I swear. I was so jealous. I especially loved a turquoise pair. Why have these simply vanished? Yes, Sporto is making them, but they're really not the same. And of course Tory Burch, but too much mools.

See what the winter does to me?

This evening's dinner:
Several squares of low-fat Havarti cheese with wheat crackers
One spoonful of PC brand Nutella substance
One hard-boiled egg

Dessert:
Two Weeks Notice starring Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock

Exactly why you shouldn't eat in bed

I just brought some carrot sticks with a yogurt mustard dip into my room, which just got on my duvet. What will Bron think.

New Year's whimsy

This morning I mistakenly configured the numbers on my date stamper to read JAN 40 2010. How whimsical... how "fun," in an officey way.