Christmas deficit

Last night on Christmas Eve, I could not find any of the following movies a-n-y-w-h-e-r-e on Bell ExpressVu:

1) National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (hello: Christmas STAPLE)

2) A Christmas Story (Come ON!)

3) One Magic Christmas (Good day Mary Steenburgen!)

Ok, maybe that last one's a long shot, but my bro did say it was on just last week. Fine and dandy... but last week wasn't Christmas eve. I settled for Denis Leary's F%$*in' Christmas or something like this, and Stephen Colbert's Christmas special, which wasn't all that bad... bit of Feist and Elvis Costello action within.

Still!!!!

Ideal Christmas

Ideal Christmas meal: Gourmet vegan feast.

What's with this combo of murdered bird and 'Christmas Pudding,' which, in my mind's eye, is basically glorified (if this is possible) Christmas cake slathered in a sauce crafted from brown sugar (...maybe!?) and god knows what else.

Did you know this pudding also has suet in it?

What are we doing to ourselves?

FLA

In several dozen hours I'll be on my way to Florida (December 26th to be exact.) Can't WAIT to update you all with some of the gems that happen there. Can't WAIT.

Flimzo's

KZ: Sorry for the massive delay.

SoooooOOOOOoooo, little bit of an ongoing saga just came to an end. It all started last weekend when I was in Wat town trying to pick up some gift certificates from Quizno's. They had a sign up and everything, that indeed they were selling g.c's. So KZ and I went into the store and asked for somma deez. Next thing I know Quizno's employee #1 is on the phone trying to reach "someone who knows how to do the gift certificates." There was also one other employee in the store with her. She appears from the back a few moments later, phone in tow (proof that she was actually attempting to reach someone), telling me she couldn't reach anyone and can't help me out. Dang. But whatever sister.

Get back to Toronto next day. Try to check out Quizno's at Richie and Spadine. Go in there, ask for some certs. Lady tells me they got 'em, but actually two minutes later they actually don't, and only have ONE $5 dealie left. Grrrr!!!! Come on people. I was just about ready to give up here.

Go back next day on my lunch ('cause they told me they'd have some more "tomorrow morning." This time I called beforehand too, just to cover my bases.) Arrive at Q-no's, get the goods, meander my way out (not without nabbing a 10 Vegetable salad from Lettuce Eatery on my way back to work).

Then, I find myself waiting for the Spadinal streetcar. Sometimes this car can be a bitch... but it ain't the only one! Waiting there in the middle of Spadine, with a few other brazen souls, when who should approach the median, yelling - no less - but Raul: Macho Commander. This dude was IN-SANE... UNsane. The only way I knew that it was Raul: Macho Commander, was by the hand-stitched full length poncho he was wearing, draped on top of his winter coat. This man disgusted me, along with about 10 other people waiting at the stop. A dude was even snapping pics with his phone. Raul had in tow a large hard top suitcase that had handwritten notes plastered all over it, one of which read, "Professional Procurator. High legal experience." There were more notes on the other side of the case detailing the services he provides, which I couldn't make out. The front of his poncho said "Latino America Commander." As if this get-up weren't enough, Raul was pacing the street, repeating the same phrases and gestures over and over again. Something something something in Spanish, with some gesturing originating from the crotchal region of his body and then a hearty laugh at the end of each repetition. He was yelling this at people far and wide. But, he didn't even seem to be that crazy.

My words don't even do this experience justice. I should have gotten the whole thing on video.

In many ways this incident was totally weird and insane and I wish people were there to have experienced it with me. But at the very same time, this was probably one of the more normal weird things that generally happen in the downtown vicin of Toronto.

1 dot FM

Ok, ok, I know I've been sorely lacking in bloggage. Get over it. (Hahaha)

After just speaking, well, Facebooking with old high school chum Paul, I was inspired to belt out a little rant about the expression, "What a small world!"

People soooo overuse this phrase. Someone saying, "Oh, your sister-in-law is on my hockey team. What a small world!" does not actually denote a small world at all when you both live in Waterloo. I'm sorry, it just doesn't, so refrain from using that tired catchphrase. Why are people so blind; blind to the language they use...?!

Right now I'm listening to a radio station at work that is all Christmas music all the time. There are even some techno Christmas remixes. Who knew? Certainly not me. Even some Motown Christmas mixes. Even some... ok, enough. It's just Christmas music.

All SORTS!

Went to the One of a Kind Craft show on the weekend. Great, great time had by V-Barrz and myself.

I bought a handmade silk-screened T-shirt and some 'licious goodies, including these from The Bean Ladies. I can't really tell you how good these are. You really have to taste to believe. By FAR the best flavour TBL make - I'm definitely going to have some sent to my home, and so should you!!

On our way out (after making our way through the show in a cool three hours) I came upon this little booth selling weird things made out of acrylic. They had a key chain that looked like it had three real licorice allsorts on it. I wanted to buy this as a gift for someone, but then second guessed myself. I am now really kicking myself for it. B said it would have been a real hit. Daaaaang. Why did I dew that?

Oh, and another amazing booth, green certified too, was selling pepper mills--incredible, incredible pepper mills--fashioned out of tree branch chunks. Definitely one of the coolest finds at the show. I will post the link later. I'm sure MP would appreciate, and approve ;-)

Full bod

This morning I had the unfortunate experience of suffering the full body drive-by slushing.

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

Holy Mother of India

Ok, so, I can't not write about Mother India on here this morning.

This place is the cat's mee-ow. Last week I went there twice, the week before once, and this week so far, once again. It is a veritable GEM. I can't say enough good stuff about this place. The Saag Paneer is absolutely outta sight and the Eggplant Roti is a very close second. B swears by the Butter Chicken, the meateater he is.

The stuff there is so fresh, it's really almost unbelievable. I'm really at a loss for words for Mother India. Please, in the words of Neil Buchanan, host of Art Attack: "Try it yourself."

God I love the theme music on that website.

Good Catch

WOWOWOW, so many posts in one day. I'm just letting go, one might say.

In my neighbourhood, there is the MOST killer store: Good Catch. I could not love this place any more, and I have only been in it once. Even when I had just seen the outside of it, I told B it was a place for me :-)


Right at Queen and Sorauren (west of Lansdowne), if you're anything like me, you will love this store and what it's all about. Check it out. Virtually, and in person. You might see me there. (Extra incentive!!)

I know K and C will appreciate ths piccie.

Out-of-town first snowfall

Forgot to mention this:

So last week I was in Waterloo for a few days when the first snowfall happened. I was outside building a snowman (cardboard eyes ripped out in the shape of little circles from a pizza box, baby carrot nose, strategically chopped broccoli mouth) with a six-year-old when I saw an older man walk by with two young children. I was really captivated by the hat this dude was wearing.

It was so shiny and silky. It was a SKUNK HAT. My god, I didn't even know these existed. I then started to get really excited (for some reason) that he was wearing a hat made of skunk. Somehow it kind of incensed me with delight, if that's possible. But then he was gone and I sort of forgot about it, up until just now.

I'm gonna do another KZ here...

Do you know what REALLY grinds my gears? The STUPID whistling at the end of the commercials for Astral Media. They have GOT to stop that. Really have to. Must. I can't take it anymore. It's soooooo obnoxious. For some reason I used to think that stupid whistle was somehow related, or had something to do with Canadian Tire. In that sense, I kind of accepted it, seeing as how Can Tire is such a square organization (hello: that weird/awful couple and their lame family they used to feature in all their ads, that finally got canned 'cause everyone hated them so much. Yah.)

Astral: Please halt the whistle. Now. It's not good.

(Your quality here)

This morning when I was waiting for the streetie on Queen (don't EVEN get me started on that one!!!) I saw a woman walk by, pushing a stroller. I noticed some fancy writing across the back of her sweatpants that read, "Responsible." Now, I don't know if it was the fine people at Juicy Couture who started that trend (you know, ass words), but I guess it's like, using a word to describe yourself pasted across your bum is the new black. I mean I guess back in the day having pants that said, "Juicy" on the ass was kind of a way to show a little bit of your personality and sass to the world. Back in the day 'Juicy' was an admirable quality.

And today 'Responsible' is what brings all the boys to the yard.

1-Got-Hundred

Last night B and I took a cab home and this cabbie was yammering on and on and ON about garbage pick-up in Toronto and complaining up and down about garbage this, garbage that (you know how cabbies are). Then he and B started talking about 1-800-GOT-JUNK and the guy was saying how he basically has a storage locker filled with stuff he doesn't know what to do with (i.e. to throw out or not to throw out - like old blinds, etc... !??!), that he pays $150 a month for (what a loser!) So then he started saying how he's totally going to call the 1-800-GOT-JUNK guys and was going on and on about this and then at one point he goes, "Yah, I'm just going to call 1-Got-Hundred-Junk."

When we got out of the cab I just about died with laughter. 1-Got-Hundred-Junk!??? And he WASN'T KIDDING AROUND.

I'm still laughing about it right now... and tearing up.

The name of things

I've had it up to here with Air Miles. Why do they ALWAYS have to be referred to as AIR MILES REWARD MILES??????? How many times do they have to say MILES in one name?

It's
too
much.

The whole thing is an outdated name for an equally outdated system of rewarding people, by not really rewarding them at all.

Air Miles, reward yourselves by going out of business.

You. have. the. wrong. number.

The whole issue of people calling wrong numbers and then not believing you when you say 'This isn't CMHC,' or 'We don't sell microscopes,' or whatever the %#$^ else is REALLY starting to grate on me (or in the words of KZ, grind my gears).

Someone called here this morning, asking for some brochures about grants having to do with CMHC. This man would NOT believe me that he had the wrong number. Did he think that I was eventually going to say, 'Oh yes, you're right, this is CMHC, how could I have BEEN SO INCREDIBLY STUPID THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE NAME OF MY OWN WORKPLACE!???????????!'

Clearly, I've had enough of this practice. When someone tells you you have the wrong number, be respectful and hang the fuck up. Jesus gawd.

Famous again, for the first time

Go here!, read the blurb, then press play:

Third webisode, read't' go! Enjoy! And tell me what you think.

Streetcar Toe

Just saw a woman on the streetcar with a major case of Streetcar Toe (huge rip in her pants right in the camel toe.) Yuckers.

Eyes without a face

Right now I'm listening to Eyes Without a Face on Q107 at work. What a great tune.

O Qanada

Spookey Ruben will be showing his first solo art exhibit at Fountain Gallery (Queen and Palmerston) from November 6-16, 2008. Opening reception will be November 6 at 7 p.m. Please see artist's bio below, written by yours me:


Toronto, ON - Underground pop legend, Spookey Ruben, most widely known in some circles, not only for his music, but for his groundbreaking music videos, has his foot firmly planted in visual ground. Ruben is currently in production of his third short film for his popular ExclaimTV series, 'Spookey Ruben's Dizzy Playground'. His latest edition, "Space Package," features John McEntire of Tortoise/The Sea and Cake. In addition to his love of video, Ruben has been drawing and painting his whole life. He has been conceptualizing his idea of flags as art objects over the past six years.

In 'O Qanada,' Ruben explores what happens when elements of the Canadian flag are replaced with something else, transmuting two different things. In examining how a flag is like a human face, Ruben posits: How many clues do you need to give away (i.e. mouth, eyes, nose) to say, 'Oh, that's a face'? In this case, how readily do two red rectangles imply the Canadian flag? He has always found the Canadian flag an elementary, comprehensive flag, not with "all these miniature stars and indecipherable elements, but very in-your-face," and wishes the sometimes complicated Canadian identity was equally as bold as its flag. Above all, Ruben urges viewers to see 'O Qanada' as a visual experiment of the iconography of the Canadian flag rather than a political statement.

As a purveyor of all things candy for the ear and eye, Ruben doesn't stop with 'O Qanada,' using simply wood, and red and white stains. The main components of each flag protrude from a white background to bring attention to a heart, or the circle of the Japanese flag, for example. Ruben is always after an eternal boldness. Big, basic shapes have always been appealing to him. His 3-D expression of bold shapes, this idea of big Lego blocks, has a fun, tangible quality to it. Beyond the juxtaposition of the bold with the deceptively simple, there is a surprise element to Ruben's pieces. Upon inspection, parts of each piece open to reveal an array of 'ethnic delights' (inner mysteries?).

Spookey Ruben is a Toronto based musician, composer, and visual artist. This is his debut solo exhibit. His upcoming album, "Mechanical Royalty" will be released December 2008.

Hello. I'm Kathryn. And I'm a nail person.

I think I'm one of those nail people now. I haven't done a thing to my nails in about four weeks, although I have no idea why. Next thing you know I'll be buying little appliqués and getting serious about throwing sparkles on there.

It is getting a little hard doing simple tasks. I might hurt someone soon. Or myself.

Marvellous surprises that await you...

I'm moving this weekend.

I hope my new neighbourhood brings me as much joy and horrifyingly real stories as this one has. I will always remember the woman who one day has perfect eyesight, and the next day ambles through the middle of the street, wearing a T-shirt as a scarf, begging for help. And I will remember the time I inadvertently walked through some murder scene police tape when stumbling home drunk out of my human life from a seedy karaoke bar. And, U-P-K!!!

Will (won't) miss you, Jamesy!

QCP-FB

I can't stop thinking about this...

Say this phrase to yourself right now, and then say it many times over:

Quaker Chewy Peanut-Free bars

...ENOUGH!

Stop saying that!!!!!!

Have any of you seen those lame ass commercials by Brand Power? By the way, as an aside, they don't in fact help you "buy better" at all: they are hired by the companies featured in their commercials to say nice things.

Anyway, my most hated Brand Power spot as of late is the one for

Quaker Chewy Peanut-Free bars.

Okay, how many times can they legally say the name of these bars in one commercial? They say it WAYYYY too many times. And, to top it all off, it's a really stupid name. They keep talking about how they're great to take anywhere, in case other people are allergic to peanuts. Alright, Brand Power, so you're telling me I have to look out for other people's lives now when considering a snack on the effing go? Maybe that's cool for kids in elementary schools and stuff, "Dear Parents, Please don't bring in peanut products due to Janie's fatal reaction," but now, this is real time. If you are bulldozing around out there on earth and have special life requirements, that's your deal not mine. We ain't in the 'classroom' anymore, dearie. Now you're trapped in the classroom of life, where the learning ended years ago. Have to fend for your %#$%& self now.

As you can see, this Brand Power commercial has left me quite incensed.

Catchmaster

I just picked up some glue traps, which will be much to B's impressment (made-up word) I imagine. The brand of them is Catchmaster. Their tagline: Sticklers for quality.

It's a tough world out there for mice and roaches (well, in my apartment anyway). Sticklers for quality? Quite the play on words, if I ever saw one. Get it, "Stick"lers? Yaie.

These puppies are going to murder all of the would-be freeloading roaches that think they can just hitch a ride on my moving boxes to the new digs. Take that, effers.

Ped Egg

I love infomercials, as you all know by now, but my god, there are some that I just don't accept.

Case in point: saw the infomercial for Ped Egg.


You know this thing? It's a fucking callous-removing, exfoliating device, but the 'mercial for it is sooooo gross. Near the end of the infomerziale they show the woman who just essentially shaved the bottom of her foot, open the Ped Egg (the name!!) and dump the contents of the Egg into the garbage. And the grossest part? There was so much SHIT to dump out of it. I'm like, how many feet did you shave, woman!? And what the hell kind of skin grows on YOUR feet!???!

My executive opinion: This product should almost be called Peg Leg, 'cause after you shave (amputate) your foot with the thing, only thing you might just have left is a stump!!!!!!

The portly man in the beret

Yesterday I walked by a french driving school. Yes, french. I peered inside to see the instructor wearing a beret. Well then.

In other news, while waiting for the Dufferin bus the other night (ugh) I saw a man wearing a very interesting (stupid) backpack.

The straps informed me it was a SNAZ-E PAC (ew, what?!) and on the front pocket there was a large embroidered image of a spider cowboy-type figure.

What in god's name is a spider cowboy? Damned if I know.

Basically it was a cowboy, with all the normal trimmings - wide brimmed hat; one of those long twigs with the red polka dot bandanna fashioned into a sac-type deal hanging off the end, and... to top it all the fuck off: guy had six legs and two arms. (They sure got the '8 legs' thing down pat.)

Now someone just has to figure out why the hell this piece of shit was ever invented in the first place.* **


*nothing I write about is ever made up.
**guess I swear now in this blog.

Tool bar

Vertically, chronologically or horizontally?

This morning I was in a brief meeting. We had a visitor at the meeting, helping us with some database stuff. At one point she said this:

"When you're working with a system, it's systemic, and it does things systematically."

No lie.

In other news, I don't know if I've already told you this, but I love Roseanne so much I could throw up. I was watching it this morning and it was the ep when they can't afford to buy Becky an $80 prom dress. Roseanne was trying to embarrass Becky at the mall and she said to some teen girlz walking by, "Hey dudes, have you heard the new Pink Nipple album?" I effing laughed out loud. Alone.

I rarely do that.

Oh Roseanne... :-)

A lil' bit of sadness and trickfulness

I was tricked by the Cheerios.

Actually, I pretty much just tricked myself (in a kind of way). General Mills (Cheerios' parents) wanted me to throw down $3.99 to buy their cereal and hey, they would make sure I'd buy it 'cause they were tossing in some free yogurt. But the tricking part is that I don't even eat the yogurt that I will now get free. Why was I persuaded to buy the cereal anyway? Merely because of the promise of something "free."

Now I just feel like depositing this morning's bowl of Cheerios back into the bag, sealing it up, and returning it to my store. Well, also squeezing the soy milk out of the Cheerios as well before shoveling back into the box.

Lesson learned: "Free" things aren't often free at all.

In this case they should be called Saddios.

Goodness corner

This morning I poured myself a bowl of plain Cheerios (you got that right - I got a coupon for free yogurt just for buying 'em!) and noticed a little thing on the top flap called the Goodness Corner, which told me all about the vitamins and nutrients in my morning 'rios.

I'm going to open up a store that sells vitamins and nutrients and call it Goodness Corner.

Calibarf

I don't know about yous guys, but I really don't like that stupid new Calibri font. It's kind of like the new Facebook to me; why did they go and change something - in this case, Arial? Why did Arial NEED to be changed, or made new either? It's such a lame attempt to try to be trendy and turn over a new word processing leaf. I'm not into it.

Every time I open a new document at work and Calibri is the default I promptly change it.

Calibri, you're not getting any face time in my fontiverse. Ha, fontiverse.

Rip roarin', high flyin'

Last night I was blow drying my hair when I heard some eight shots ring out. I fled to my 11th storey window to see people fleeing from the nearby Food Basics. Then I saw some police officers run out from behind some of the apartments and pin two dudes to the ground. Hi oh - COPS in my own backyard.

This happened another time when I was having a games night. Like all these cop cars drove up on the grass, surrounding this mang and pinned him on down.

Sensassionale

I just bought some toffee peanuts called Wow Nuts/Noix Sensass.

In other news, yesterday I saw a squirrel carrying an entire hard taco shell across someone's front yard. When he saw me, he began to chomp happily on the shell. When he was halfway through, he shoved the shell under his arm and skittered up a tree. No shit.

Pins and needles

Who does THIS happen to anymore!?

At lunch I was sitting cross-legged, eating a slice of pizza under a tree when I noticed it was time to head back to work. But gawd, when I stood up and began walking across the street, I couldn't have felt like more of a fool! with my two lame feet among all the strapping undergraduate students and professors. I don't think I can ever show my face on this campus again.

To top it all off, I think I also now have several bites probably from some small brown ants that were hanging out under the tree. %$^&#*

It's cocolossal!

An ad on the train told me about this awesome new uni: I wanna go to Colossal U. Don't you?

Old snackz

I saw someone on the subway with a bag of Crispers.

Who eats those anymore?

The snake charmer's shaking for you

Hot, new, cutting-edge band: Slim Twig.

Check it.

Signs I need to leave St. Jamestown

I just can't handle the throw-up anymore.

This morning at 5:30 a.m. I was jolted--BLASTED--awake to the sounds of my across-the-hall neighbour throwing up and gagging, slash, DYING to all hell. Jesus god.

Then I also had a dream a man silently entered my apartment one day, dropping off a duffel bag. I came at him, pointing my middle finger at him (what was that going to do?) and trying to yell at him to leave (you know, dreams; trying to yell, but you can't). Then after he left on his own volition, I threw his bag out into the hallway. Seconds later, he entered another person's apartment, left the same bag there, and then soon after, the bag exploded in their unit. I don't even know what happened to the people who lived there!!!? Were they alive? Dead?

Such unpleasantness.

Saying hi

Yesterday I popped into some 24-hour food store to pick up a little bit of an embellishment for my lunch before going to work and the nuttiest, just the nuttiest thing happened while I was in line. I was paying for my thing at the cashier and I heard the woman behind me talking (to herself) about how her daughter just brought back some chocolate from Belgium - the same kind they were selling at this store. My transaction was then complete, so I said thank you to the cashier and then THE WOMAN says to me, "Thank you too, bye now." What the hell?

This reminds me of the time I went for sushi at Mazz with R and S. While we were eating our meal, we saw this totally awkward couple, who must have been on their second date or something, [and the girl was ordering everything that the guy ordered, right after he ordered it (lame)] and then when we were leaving the restaurant, we said bye to the people working there and this girl kind of turns her head in our direction, while looking at our feet and said, "Bye guys." Again, what the hell?

Kickin' it lame school

Today I was lounging on UT campus, and I saw a girl walk past me wearing yonder shoes... well the pink ones. But they were even obnoxiously, annoyingly briter!!!! AND, she was also wearing a matching bright as __ pink T-shirt.

Then, two seconds later, another dude comes walking past, sporting the same type ensemble. But he was wearing bright ORANGE high tops and a fluo orange shirt.

Just about made me wanna throw up. In the TTC.

In other news, I used to have a professor who always said the word nebulus. Ok, we get it - you know a sort of big word, that's kind of obscure. Stop already. Pick a neeeeeww word.

Also, two nights ago I went to see Hamlet 2, at the Varsity. Not a bad little movie there, budday. A little confusing, but overall, entertaining. I was really unimpressed with the Varsity's washroom situation. They have one of those setups where you have the soap dispenser, filled with CREAM SOAP (yuck!) which squirts out wayyyy too much when you pump it out (aside: why does soap come in CREAM anyway? It's not like it's pasta sauce. Am I going to have to start ordering the marinara soap? Hey? Hey?), and then in terms of the water, you no sooner take less than a second getting soap on your hands after you've turned on the tap that the water is instantly--INSTANTLY--scalding hot. It's the worst combination imaginable: cream soap that will never wash away, no matter what the temperature, TOO MUCH of it at that, and then burning, searing hot water to complement the whole thing.

The washroom at the Varsity gets two thumbs down for its soap and water combo.

I'm in a baand

Harlequin is a tremendous tremendous band.

Subway (not the restaurant)

I have a couple things to talk about today, relating to the subway.

-In general, I just find there is far too much throw-up in the subway. I can understand seeing lots of it on Friday or Saturday nights, or Sunday mornings, for that matter. But, as per last night - seeing it on a random Tuesday night? No, I don't think that's acceptable. What, do people just purposely show up at the subway to 'let go' of unwanted stomach contents? I certainly don't see a quarter of as much throw-up on the streets of TO as I do in the subway. I've had it, TTC, with your throw-up and your accepting nature of it.

-Zwei: I love the news updates that appear on those overhead screens in the subway. One I saw last night: "Hungry tiger escapes from zoo in Galveston, Texas." I just wonder how they know for certain that it's hungry? Is a tiger always hungry? Or is the news trying to frighten the people of Galveston, and me, all the way in Toronto!?

Another doozie I saw in February: "Valentines Day fondue mishap causes fire leaving NB man homeless." Ouch. All that, in the name of love.

Taping it

The other day I was preparing a mailing and when a co-worker saw that my envelopes still needed to be sealed he said, "Sometimes I just tape them!" I thought to myself, Hogwash, who tapes an envelope? There's no need when the flap is already pre-sticky.

Well, look at me now: the mail machine decided not to seal my envelopes and I'm here taping away.

Taping. Envelopes.

Those pre-recorded phone calls

How about the one that starts out with the blaring of a cruise ship's horn, or the one with the girl telling you you've just won an exotic vacation? Well, my new favourite is the pre-recorded message reminder for dental appointments.

There were two on my voicemail this morning for a gentleman in my office. Of course, by the time it gets all the way to voicemail, it's about 3/4 of the way through the message.

So I caught the part when the girl was saying, "Press 1 to repeat this message, Press 2 for..." but the best part was when she said, "I'm sorry, I thought I was speaking with a human."

I think people are going to be saying that a lot more in the future.

What what!

Pinkish

Ages ago my aunt gave me a shockingly pink hue of lipstick--fluorescent, really--suitable for use at 80s parties or when shopping at Bargain Harold's, called simply, Pinkish.

Today when I was on the elevator getting back from lunch I saw a member of the office custodial staff with a huge container of bathroom soap called 'Pink Luster.'

Yuck. You know the kind I'm talking about.

(That same pink luster seems never to wash off your hands either.)

--

Earlier today, in a staff meeting, a gentleman kept using the word "grinding." It was really grating on my nerves.

Some people really have favourite words, don't they? That they use many times over in the course of a morning, or their lives for that matter.

Just can't get enough

I have a bit of an obsession with clever T-shirts. There seem to be a lot of them around, and I can't help but notice them when I'm out and about.

I will try to keep you updated on the long list of clever lines that I come across.

For now, here are two notables from the recent past:

-This small man was wearing a tee that said, 'I'm with illogical,' with an arrow pointing to the right

-Some skinny teen was wearing one that said,
'C.S.I.
Can't Stand Idiots'

-There's also my old favourite, one I spotted on a dude one night in SDM that was a faded shade of burgundy and had faded white letters on it, with a graphic of a viking. It said, 'I'm going to Helsinki.' It's a fave of SR's and mine.

Ingenius.

Work perks

There is a box of tissues in the common room called nepi nepi.

On the side of the box it says, nepi nepi nepia.

Overwhelmed by of-the-moment trends

Everyone, I have an announcement to make:

Uniralls AND... AND RAT TAILS are back in. Unbelievably so, and true.

Case in point: Yesterday I saw a girl sporting the unirall look, of so many years passed. You know the one, where you only fasten one of the two closures on the overall straps.

Rat tails:
Ok, so over the past few days I have seen four--that's FOUR--rat tails; three on the streets of Toronto, and one on the screen of Pineapple Express. Ok, so I liked that one - it really worked well to paint a picture of a character who made a brief appearance in the flick. It was fine, and funny as all heck.

But these other ones - these real life ones - I just don't know how this is acceptable.

• The first one I saw, the girl already had long hair, but then further, there was a rat tail snaking its way out from under her longest layer of hair - who does this?

• The second one was a middle aged woman with spiky grey hair. HER rat tail was festooned with beads and fashioned in a braid. Wow, she got style.

• And, the last one - just spotted on the subway. An older gentleman, looking pretty normal from the front, who turned to reveal a lengthy, curly as heck 'tail.

Oh, and allow me to just add: these rat tails were not like a couple inches long. These were all pretty much middle-of-the-back dealies. HOW!?


I don't know... what's next?!

Free school! I mean food.

I learned about this little golden nugget in university, but it really is something never to be forgotten:

University campuses always have free food - EVERYWHERE.

Case in point: today I was sauntering by the Jewish students centre at UT where they were throwing a clubs fair and FREE BBQ. Hello! Didn't I tell you? There was a young man there wearing a shirt that said MENSCH, and barbecued items galore by the looks of it. I mean, yah, sure, I could have popped my head in as well to take part in the festivities (I didn't; packed my own cucumber sandwich), but that food was definitely there for the taking. What were they going to say to me?!

Exhibit B: In my new position, I get e-mails about free lectures on campus, sometimes even featuring cool famous people (or maybe sometimes just people who are famous, but not in that cool of a way.) Good morning!: Free lectures generally equal free food! Example number two. I was told it's pretty good food too.

Bottom line: Never feel like you need to pay university tuition to enjoy the finer points of university life.

Dependable orange... let's get to the point

The other day B and I were talking about how great peaches are, and this conversation didn't happen but one day before R (3 years old) said to me,

"Did you know that peaches are the yummiest?"

A wise one he is. Anyway, I exclaimed that yes, peaches are great - superior to apples and oranges, I'd say - BUT, at the same time, not to be completely eclipsed by the orange; a rather manageable, dependable fruit, if you will. It was at this point that I began to sing my new hit single "Dependable Orange" to the tune of Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado.

This is gonna be a hit, I tell ya.

--

In other news, on Saturday I was doing one of my regular browses through SDM (a.k.a. Shoppers Day Mart, a.k.a. Shoppers Drug Mart) and a mag with the faces of my old favourites - Kids in the Hall - was staring me right down.

The headline on the page told me that this was the comedy issue. Let me tell you: Naked Eye (the name of the mag) is a hit with me! I love the writing, I love the style, love how it's Canadian - a real package deal (insert thumbs up here).

I would completely suggest you nab this one next time you're at the store. And, at a mere $4.95, you're laughin'... at the price alone!

Wee can be heroes

I was speaking to a spry young Nonno today while at Piccininni Park. I had spoken to him once before. He told me how he takes care of his granddaughter five days a week, 12 hours a day. He said it keeps him young.

Today when we spoke again he told me of how children and seniors are his heroes. He told me how he often visits a nearby nursing home and plays his accordion for the residents. He said seeing the smiles on the faces of the people who can no longer take care of themselves is the greatest reward. He thinks himself a very lucky man.

I like men like that.

--

In other news, today on the Dufferin bus there was a curly haired man wearing a woolly sweater. He licked his finger just before pressing the 'Stop' button.

"We're experiencing a little fried eggulence..."

Everybody!! Forgot to post this sooner:

Webisode #2 of Spookey Ruben's Dizzy Playground.

(In the credits you will notice the name of a certain special someone under 'Additional Writing' [i.e. me].)

Please advise me of any and all feedback you may have!

Check 'er out... and LIKE IT!

Cousin married getting happening

I'm in charge of ye olde PowerPoint slide show to be presented while guests filter into the reception at my cousin's upcoming wedding.

[Aside: I love PowerPoint presentations, but won't get into them on this post. Remind me to do so on a rainy day at some point in time. Definitely blog-worthy information, anecdotes and PPT praises galore.]

The tunes I have thrown together to go with the corresponding photos of love, being in love, loving, are the shiiiiat; the cat's meow, if you will.

She wanted all, Michael Bublé this, Israel Kamakawio'ole that; cry me several rivers-type music. I told her frankly over e-mail, your song selections made me feel very, very sad. Aren't you getting married?

So, the stuff I have conjured up is it. People are 'a be impressed with mizzle. (Me).

Happy-Angry

Today while playing out snack time with the children we came into a little rough patch after I had spoken to S (2.5 years old) about her behaviour.

Even though I was the one who was unhappy with her, she responded,

"I'm happy to eat, but angry to talk."

Sometimes children are so concise. So concise that you almost don't know what they're talking about.

A-MAZZ-ing

So I said I was going to talk about restaurants on here, so let's talk about restaurants for a minute.

I just love Mazz sushi on the south side of Bloor, just west of Ossington. This place really has the best sushi I've ever had, outside of Japan. All those places in the Annex just don't cut it.

Two notables: try their spicy banana rolls (outta sight!) and anything white tuna just completely saves the day. The spicy lobster rolls are pretty a-mazz-ing too. (Ok, three notables.)

--

In other news, I wanted to share a poster with you I found a while ago taped to a pole in my neighbourhood. It reads as follows:

FREE HEAD AND BRAINS!!!!

FREE HEAD AND BRAINS!!!!

FREE HEAD AND BRAINS!!!!

FREE HEAD AND BRAINS!!!!

FREE HEAD AND BRAINS!!!!

FREE HEAD AND BRAINS!!!!

I'M A BRAINER!

CHIRS SAMBA-AN
&
RYAN BERNARDO

CELL: 647-832-XXXX

Um, WHAT!???!!!!??

Driving school

There is a sign for a driving school in my neighbourhood which reads:

"DRIVING SCHOOL: WE CUT AT ALL COST"

God, I wouldn't want to learn to drive there.

Shad K: Doing the life thing

Check THIS vid out!

You know him, we love him, my old roomie, SHAD K.! I am so proud of this guy...

Catch him, Sept. 17 at the Mod Club. Be der!!

The battle(')s at home

My friend RM passed along this article to me. Great stuff. Congrats, you big Tool.

However, quite honestly, that's great that D. Tool, or whatever his name is now wants to hit it to China, but I've got enough of these things to deal with locally, not to mention in my own home. He's all 'acting globally,' but I'm suffering locally.

Exhibit A: I see my roommate has purchased a canister of veg. protein powder. There is an icon on the can that looks/reads as follows: There is a big circle and just inside it says "DO NOT" and then within the circle there is another circle, inside of which is printed "CARB" and this circle has a red slash through it. So, I get the impression that this powder is trying to tell me, 'Do not not carb.' No clue what is going on here. This thing was made in the YOU ESS (U.S.). I just don't understand.

In other news, today I saw a man wearing a jean jacket approach the shopkeeper of a discount clothing store. He said to the shopkeep,

"Do you have any jean jackets?"

And dood replied,

"No."

Jean jacket man appeared aghast at this announcement. And by this, I mean basically completely put out. He made a corresponding angry sound and everything.

Moral of the story: Have zero expectations when shopping at Million Dollar Discount Dollar.

Weekend of the stars

So this weekend I was kicking it "two person style" with JCmp at her cott. Great times were had by all (two of us).

I love how being out of town means that you can just drink alcohol constantly and consistently (and briskly) throughout a day.

On the way home when we were listening to a highway report on the radio, they told us "If you're on the bottle, stay off the throttle." ...right.

Just wanted to throw a few pics up here of the things I like at J's c:

Tiny ashtray


Tiny maybe boxer, slash, Boston terrier. A... Boxton?


Don't ask

Honestly Edward's

(By the way: Blog title copyright KZ 2007.)

So, I was waltzing out of the place today (Honestly Edward's, that is) and I saw that someone had rather carelessly discarded the packaging from their 'Mini Funny Iron' directly below - and in front of - the garbage receptacle.

Mini... funny? Iron...?

I'm not sure that I understand.

Children of the sick and famous

Two items (anyone into this bullet list thing as much as I am?):

1) Yesterday I was at the park pushing Satori on the swing. There were a whole bunch of camp kids there, as there always are, and there was a small one beside us, also being pushed on a swing by his counsellor. All of a sudden, the counsellor knelt down beside the kid and said,

"Do you feel like you're going to throw up again?"

Um, if this were the case, why was this kid even on a swing at all!? Some camp!

Two) Later in the day Satori and I saw a Smart car. She told me that her bro really likes them and I said, "Me too! Will you buy me one?", in a jokingly fashion. She then said that yes, she would buy me one some day:

"When I grow up, I'll buy a wallet... then I'll buy some money... then I'll buy you a Smart car!"

Precious... precious! If children ruled, my, how much easier and funner life would be.

Just wanna talk about magic for a minute here...

Two items on the subject of magic:

1) Today as I was strolling down Bloor, on the north side of the street, between Christie and Bathurst stations - to be exact - I spotted a Chinese restaurant called "The Taste of Magic." My god, if they've discovered how magic tastes, the chefs at that restaurant are really one step closer to figuring out what life's all about.

2) I now have a Magic Bullet in my home. Remember my post about seeing the infomercial for it about a hundred times? Yah, well now I own one. The blender, slash, juice extractor, and party cups, each with different coloured lids, are still hanging out at my parents', but I got the real deal here - the two different sized cups and the two different blades: chopping blade and whipping blade. Ok? So things are looking pretty rad.

Been sick of looking at that glass for a couple weeks now?

The title of my blog today is

"Jail Shmail"

Personally, I don't see a thing wrong with our legal system - or that of the USA's - after reading this article my friend MP passed along.

Oh, and congrats on your nuptials, Tremayne.

Are you really optimistic?

You know those age old expressions, Glass half empty, Glass half full, and Which one of the two are you?, etc., etc.?

Glass half empty means you are a pessimist and glass half full means you are an optimist, right? I just don't see why this is.

I believe that if you were a true optimist and you saw a glass half occupied with whatever, you wouldn't see it as half full, but really only half empty. Saying something is half empty is hardly pessimistic at all; how can you say it any other way? It's actually just realistic.

I think these were expressions made up to ineffectively prove points and confuse people for eternity.

All of a sudden, I'm kind of confused...



Ok, ok, at the end of the day, really, both expressions mean exactly the same thing. Quibbling not needed!

Mmmwhy did I write this post?

Oh no oh no oh no!

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, please read this.

--

In other news, I read an article recently about cyclists, and rules of the road. The article stated that the same rules apply to cyclists that apply to drivers.

Listen here: Yesterday, as I exited the front door of the College streetc, a cyclist WHIZZED by me, acting almost as if I was inconveniencing her by having just stepped off the car. Excuse me, cyclie! Just because your light was GREEN, did you suddenly, all of a sudden forget that there was a stop sign before you, as you bulldozed your way through the intersection? Where do you get off acting like there isn't a single rule of the road that applies to you!?

Honestly, I know it's a tough world out there for cyclists - they can't get no respect, yadda yadda. BUT, if you want to get the most bang for your cyclist buck, and be respected among fellow people of the road, please do your homework on what rules of the road apply to you, AS someone who operates a wheeled mode of transportation.

It isn't some two-wheelin' free-for-all out there!

Assuage

To be added to my list of faves...

"Cut it out!" - Joey Gladstone

OMG, Going Nowhere by Cut Copy is the cat's me-ow. Officially. Check 'er out.

The whole album too.

Now.

P.S. The concert is Sept. 19. I will be there.

P.P.S. The video.

Juice Weasels and the like

Today I was inspired to write a post on something I love: infomercials. Maybe some of you will find this hard to believe (well, knowing me you won't), but I mean, in general.

I love infomercials so much, to me they are the equivalent of sitting down in front of a great flick that's been on my 'To See' list for ages.

Can I tell you that I have seen the infomercial for the Magic Bullet at least 55 times? Back in the day when I lived at home, and now even, there was nothing I enjoyed more on a Sunday afternoon than plunking myself down on the old sofe to really take in an excellent infomerch.

And I don't tune in for just a few minutes either. Since the whole thing is basically a commercial in and of itself - therefore not requiring any extracurricular commercial breaks - I am literally glued to the thing for the entire hour that it airs. With regular TV I am constantly getting up and down, not being able to decide if the show I'm watching is really worth my time. But infomercials, I'm telling you, they have it all figured out.

---

In the spirit of infos, here is a fave old In Living Colour sketch of mine.

The final streetcar

This morning on the streetc there was a person - whom I could not identify through the throngs - who was blasting a heinously cheesy house, slash, intelligent techno, slash, hip hop (?) version of The Final Countdown by Europe on their 'Pod.

Heinously cheesy already, you might say? To each their own...

Clean or dirty?

This has been bothering me for a while now. And I don't know who it is that ever invented this __ thing.

I'm sorry, but if you need a Clean-Dirty magnet, or suction cup sign, or velcro sign for your dishwasher to tell you if it's... clean or dirty... then I'm not sure that this sign alone is really going to help you. It's not like the sign actually tells you the contents of the appliance are clean or dirty - a human person has to do that. You yourself have to make sure the sign is switched to the appropriate "Clean" or "Dirty" to indicate what exactly is going on inside the dishwasher.

I just don't like these signs. I don't own a dishwasher, but if I did, I would never want one of these signs in or around my dishwasher. They are essentially more trouble than they're worth.

But my god, when I Googled "dishwasher clean dirty signs" there were 413,000 results. To me, that is a problem. Try it yourself...

(clap, clap, clapclapclap, clapclapclap, clap) DOG SHOW!

This morning I was watching this terrible morning show on channel 23--let's just say it's some embarrassing Regis and Kelly knock-off--and they were featuring a segment on puppies up for adoption. They had these sickly sweet little blurbs on all the dogs, most of which were absolutely hilarious, but not intentionally (you know the type). I was also doing the dishes at the same time and chimed in when they were talking about a little lap dog named Rudy:

"Rudy, a southern gentleman, is as sweet as peach pie."

Oh my word, this was just too much for me...

---

In other news, lately my roommate and best friend have both mentioned a word or two about the band Cut Copy. So I took a listen... I'm into these people! My bff was right when he said that they are kinda like a mix between New Order and Daft Punk. SOLD! I think I will go to their upcoming concert. I have also been informed they are opening for NIN in the near future. Check. it. owt!

GET NAKED July 22

My aunt gave me a pin for my birthday that said that.

Forgot one!

agog

We got $5,000...

Look! It's been accepted into the world of funny, friends and fellow funniez:

Spookey Ruben's Dizzy Playground - Omen of the Goblet

Enjoy!!

The Pool

They recently adorned it with some streamer-type things over top of the pool. You know the kind they put up when kids have races or something?

I can't believe my eyes, the water is miraculously crystal clear and I even saw people swimming in it yesterday. I mean, I think they were people, but...!?

Let me talk about the time when I first moved here...

I was waiting for the subway. I noticed a woman, talking to a wall:

"I'm gonna stick a penknife in your eye."

Oh god, I thought. What have I gotten myself into? Then she continued:

"You and your music, and your headphones and your gramophones."

What on earth!?, I thought. Two seconds later:

"Are you in the mood? Are you on the M-O-O-D?"

Later that day, after exiting the subway I saw a man pushing a baby stroller. I was eager to see what the baby looked like. After peering into the stroller, I found it was jam-packed with dozens of loaves of Wonderbread.

About a week later I saw another man pushing a baby stroller. This one contained a small dog, wearing a striped T-shirt, with a blanket wrapped around its legs. It was sitting in an upright position, not unlike a human baby. It looked absolutely pleased as punch.


What does that expression mean?

Words aplenty

I'm just another one of those people who keeps a list of words they love...

Here are some that I've remembered for today:

• atop
• aloud
• aplenty
  

Brutally free ride

Right now at the company where I work, they are working on a project for Chrysler Free Ride. So, not surprisingly, the corresponding song for the commercial is Free Ride by The Edgar Winter Group. You know, it's one of those songs that's probably been in several hundred beer commercials and makes you think of such things as people partying at a sun drenched beach in the early 80s, or off the back of a random truck, cracking open some brewskis, getting sunburns and then complaining about them, as well as cut-off jean shorts; things of this nature. So, at this moment, not only is this song on brutal repeat in my BRAIN, but I also hear it waft frequently out of one of the offices, people walk around the office humming or flat out singing it, I have to look at the folder that houses the documents pertaining to the project... It's driving me up the wall!

"Come and take a free right--FREE RIDE! Come on and take a Free. Ride." and it has that catchy guitar only part, where the images of what I wrote above invade your brain.

Things overheard at work

At last job:
-"Lumberjacks are actually really smart!"
-"I didn't say they weren't!!"

At current job:
-"Fax machine is the photocopier?"
-"Welcome to the 21st century."

Has: My Bro!

Hasbro. Now here's a company that runs a tight ship.

This weekend, while enjoying myself in the wilds of cottage country, a couple of friends and I decided to indulge in a li'l Travel Scrabble. After playing two rounds of one of my fave games, the Welshman informed me that I was missing my X. I couldn't believe my ears or eyes. A letter, missing from my game? This was very concerning.

Fast forward to yesterday: I shoot Hasbro an e-mail, telling them of my plight. 'One missing letter, dude, I don't need a whole set of new letters though!' They (well, Veronica) replied quick as a wink:

Hi Kathryn,

Thank you for contacting Hasbro, Inc. regarding your Travel Scrabble game.

Your satisfaction is very important to us. We will be happy to ship the replacement letter tile 'X' at no charge to you.

Shipping will be done as quickly as possible.

We appreciate having the opportunity to assist you. We hope you will enjoy our products for many years to come.

Many years to come, indeed!

To Diet Pepsi or not to Diet Pepsi?

I know it's the age old preference: Coke over Pepsi. Always (for most people). But today, I decided to make it a Pepsi day (even though I rarely drink fizzy). And my, did I make the right choice.

Diet Pepsi tastes sweeter to me than Diet Coke, and that's just what I felt like on a day like today, when the office candy seems to be flying off the shelves like hot cakes. Literally. I was standing around with some coworkers, chatting about candy of all shapes and sizes (this office stocks a bunch let me tell you!) and everyone was talking about how much candy they'd already eaten today. I said, it must be the weather.

Always the perfect excuse for me.

CL

In case you didn't know, or haven't heard, Craigslist (CL) is the most amazing thing around. I love it so much. I love the Rants and Raves, for the times when someone feels the urge to proclaim their love of fresh baked raisin bread (which actually happened). And I love the Missed Connections, for the funny and sweet things people write about people they stalk on the streets of TO.

Today I stumbled upon a new section that a friend turned me on to. The Best of Craigslist section, at the left of the screen. You must try this post on for size. And don't stop there. Drink up the all the delights CL has to offer, my friends!

Summing it

This weekend I had the opportunity to revel in the marvel of the Minden wilderness. Sun, fun, children, beer, fire (of the camp persuasion) all added up to make the perfect weekend spent outside of TdotOdot. Not much beats sleeping all bundled up in your 'bag, enjoying the frosty night air and then plunging unconsciously into the world of dreams that await you (this is what happens to me when I sleep in a foreign place for a night or two).

Reminds me of the time I was sleeping in a foreign bed for two nights when I was away once in Montréal. In the dream I looked up in the sky and saw thousands of tiny cars flying around with wings. Then all of a sudden I spotted a huge, feathery bird, almost Jim Henson-esque, that swooped down to earth, wrapped its giant wings around me and slowly whispered in my ear, "You are beautiful."

See what I'm saying about these dreams?

Yes yes y'all

Look here y'all! A few spelling mistakes, but no worse for the wear.

Brand new album coming out later in '08. Stay tuned!

P.S. I think I just ate a moldy Sesame Snaps snap.

P.P.S. When I took a 26-hour bus ride from Whistler to Edmonton in '05 (against my will) I found the mad chocolate version of these pups. Incredulous.

Yukkin' it up!

Just wanted to give some 'shout outs' to the wonderful talent that was the gentlemen who performed last Saturday night at Yuk Yuk's on Richmond St. Some of my very faves were Mr. Jay Brown, Trix (sp?) and as always, Darrin Rose. I had the opportunity to meet Darrin, too. He was a very sweet guy... and great hugger. His sets are hilarious. I will post a date or two on here sometime so you can partake as well!

Pad Sigh

Last night for dinner I decided to toss a frozen tray of PC Pad Thai into the oven. I had been used to it in the past, was a pretty good dish, thought--when I bought it--yes, I'll buy this dinner again. It'll 'do the trick.'

So last night, I cook it, throw it in a bowl, then tuck in. My, how wrong it was. It didn't taste anything like what I had remembered. I thought to myself, they must have changed this without actually saying 'New!' or 'Improved!' or anything. The whole thing was a disaster. I can't really even begin to explain what a disappointment it was. All I have to say is... no, I don't even have words.

PC, you have left me speechless. And not in a good way.

--I have been writing a lot of negative posts lately, haven't I?

Time to tweak the guestlist for the pool party...!??@#$

Um, I just noticed this morning they have clearly begun to fill the pool... with the garbage still in it.

I give up.

Come to my pool party! Not.

I went here today to submit a 'something to be fixed.'

My something consists of the disgusting outdoor swimming pool in my neighbourhood, and I would not like it fixed so much as I would like it dismantled, slash, destroyed - forever. Maybe I can post a pic of it on here sometime soon. It's a veritable cesspool of bird and other animal shit, debris, garbage, broken furniture (yes, really) and is--needless to say--an awfully hospitable breeding ground for vermin and insects aplenty. The pool opens regularly each summer, but then instantly turns an erroneous shade of fluorescent green and not a soul can be found swimming in it for the remainder of the season.

It's so sad! And such an eyesore. Someone, do something about it!

Will update if the people at the Star get back to me...

P.S. The pool I'm talking about looks n o t h i n g like that sweet little image up there. There is no grass and there are especially no happy children. Only dead things. And dirt.

NXNE

June 12-15 NXNE. Check out the website, yo.

Saturday I'm going to check out the festivities at Dundas Square. I can't wait to rock out to the likes of Spookey Ruben--hitting the stage at 7 p.m.--and hopefully stick around long enough to hear one of my faves Bran Van 3000. I used to love their song 'Everywhere' back in the day... and still do.

What are you waiting for - come on out!!!

Washing instructions: Can't

The heat of the summer has only just begun and I'm already sick to death of the whole flip-flop situation. You know what I'm talking about: donning your favourite pair of flippies only to have your feet turn jet black from the soil of the streets within a couple hours (or less sometimes).

This reminds of last year when I bought a pair of purple flips from Old Navy, which I loooved. I noticed a tiny sticker on the bottom, outlining washing instructions:

Do not use water.

What was I supposed to do, treat them like birds and bathe them in dust? Sheesh!

Apowhat?

Yesterday I saw an ad for clinical trials... and getting remunerated for them. So, today I called the number.

After enduring the joy that is having a file made for me (while I was on hold listening to Rocking Chair by Gwen McRae) and then telling them the "last time I had a puff" was five years ago (maybe) and that I don't suffer from migraine headaches, the question hit--and it was regarding what I do and do not eat.

"I don't eat meat."
"Would you be willing to eat meat for a trial?"
(pause) "No."

Which then led to the end of the call: "You are ineligible for any trials here."

Stellar site

This site from which you can send e-cards is one of the most amazing Internet sites I have come across. Below is just one example of probably millions they have available. It's such a great resource for whiling away the hours at an unfulfilling job. Or, can be appropriate on many other occasions for many other occasions as well. (The perfect plug!)

Visit today!

Thanks for the milk

There is a convenience store on Eglinton Ave. called Milk Depot Thanks Convenience. The K in Milk is tipped slightly to the right, pouring milk all over the Depot.

I'm not kidding.

Oh, for the love of... Joe!

I'm going to reveal a big secret about myself today on The kind of way I observe things: I am a gigantic Joe fan. What is Joe, you may ask? Well, Joe is one of my top favourite clothing shops - yah, you know the one, tucked inside many a Superstore, with some floating out there on their own as well.

Within my shopshot (heh, heh, get it, instead of earshot?!) there is one at Queen's Quay, one at Don Mills and Eg, one at Forest Hill... and you know, they kinda all fill the bill.

But, when one goes a little further out of the GTA, say, towards Kitchener, Ontario (just steps from the bustling 'burg of Waterloo--my hometown) the biggest, best, most glorious Joe can be found at Highland Hills Mall, at the corner of Highland and Fischer-Hallman roads.

This store is the mothership. When I was back in Waterloo for a week stint earlier this month, I ventured into the store early one morning. I wouldn't be long, I told myself. I was used to whipping through my closest Joe (Don Mills and Eg) in about 15 mins when I'm in TO. But, really, when you're in this Joe, you're going to need to allot yourself about TEN-15 min. blocks of time.

This Joe has it all, the Men's, the Women's, the Children's, the workout wear section, the loungey section, an extensive shoe and flip-flop section, an intimates section, if you will, outerwear... what am I leaving out here!? They really got it all. And I even told a couple members of Team Joe just how I felt about the amazingness that is their store.

So, there you have it. That's a little blurb about Joe and how fondly I feel about the place. Oh, and the stuff in it, too. Share your Joe story with me!

Welcome, me.

Last year, when I was a student in the Corp. Comm. program at Seneca College, blogging was a topic often punctuating our class discussions. But I really had no interest in them.

People seemed to yammer on about blogs and blogging in such a mundane, entirely bland fashion. I absolutely did not see any of the merits whatsoever of keeping a blog. There are so many out there, I thought, and they all seem boring; I did not want to be one to fan the fires of boredom.

But recently, after hearing Joseph Thornley (C.E.O. of Thornley Fallis) and Julie Rusciolelli (President and Founder of Maverick Public Relations Inc.) speak at the CPRS event, 360 Degrees - All Things Connected, I kind of instantly took a shine to blogging. From two avid bloggers who sang the praises of keeping a blog, I got the right perspective I needed to make me see that blogging can be all its cracked up to be! Thank you, Joseph and Julie, for your brief, but inspirational talk :-)

So, here I am, in all the glory that is me. Stay tuned for some useful insights, and things that might very well not be useful at all, but things you'll be glad you read after you have done so. Maybe.